A busy life can be experienced as an addictive video game, comprising the twisty route from a morning coffee to the time we return home and close the door on the world and its demands. The circuit is strewn with pleasant opportunities—friendly conversations—which we navigate toward, and unpleasant roadblocks—impossible characters with impractical deadlines—which we try to avoid. Caught up in the game, our frustrations and disappointments are stifled so we can keep moving. We lose track of how these blocked emotions translate into stress carried in the body; our external fixation and continual thoughts relegate the body to the corners of awareness; the tension that lies beneath our attention spans often remains unnoticed.

There are three common myths or misconceptions about meditation that can block us from realizing the power and benefit of practice. Yet, if we take a moment to expose them, we can easily figure out how to overcome them.

One of the most important things of meditation is not the meditation practice itself, but rather bringing the mindful attitude in our daily life. I found that this is relatively easy when interacting with another person, because you can listen to the person with a mindful attitude, using the words of the others as an object of your meditation. Or you could walk, using the movement as a meditation, being aware of your surroundings. But what do you do when you, like I do, work on your computer most of the day? I spend most of my day reading, writing, e-mailing, computing things, etc. How can you bring meditation to working on the computer? How do I use the computer as the object of my meditation?

I have had the privilege of working with many experienced meditators on their personal food issues. It’s always a real pleasure when a long-time practitioner walks into my office. As they tell me about what’s troubling them I often hear the phrase “how could I have missed this?”. Total confusion, sometimes even desperation, is in their eyes.

It’s often a relief for people to hear that so many of us “miss this”.

Something as basic as eating - is a big deal. How do we really look at something this primal without judgment? How do we change our reactions to these ideas and patterns that have formed before birth?

Why do we always recommend meditating with our eyes open? So, asked my stepfather the other day. He learned to meditate in the What Meditation Really Is classes held in New York City. And now, he goes to a different meditation group on Sundays, sometimes attended by 100 or so people, and everyone else meditates with their eyes closed.

Despite the fact that a lot of scientists these days talk about the wisdom of crowds, which refers to the idea that together, a crowd of people will tend to converge to the right answer for most problems, I tend to dislike being in crowds. This really struck me recently because in Summer the town where I live is fairly empty, but now the academic year has started, it is very full again with students. As I was waiting for the traffic light a few days ago, I really felt quite antsy being surrounded by something like 60 other bikers. But then something hit me: why should I focus so strongly on how these people are in my way? They too are people like me, they try to be happy, and they try to get to their destination on time. As soon as I started to see these people as different "me"s, I felt much calmer and happier.

Robert Thurman talks about how important it is not to just leave your practice behind as you leave the cushion.

 

These days many people tend to be overwhelmed with choices, from the simple everyday what we should eat and what we should wear to the more consequential life choices about education, career, spiritual path or life partner. I feel that this is an area where my meditation practice has definitely helped me.

Here is Khandro Rinpoche on how we can keep the mindfulness we discover on the cushion as we go about daily activity. Hearing from my friend Gabriele that Rinpoche would be teaching in Berlin, I asked Gabriele to ask Khandro Rinpoche to make another What Meditation Really Is video. Rinpoche quickly agreed!

I recently attended a retreat with Sogyal Rinpochein Amsterdam. One of the main themes of the retreat was about how to take the blame. Now this may seem like quite a strange concept: why should we be willing to take the blame in situations? It definitely was something to think about for me, which is why I am writing this blog.