Running with a kind mind

At the start of the race, in the starting position amidst the other, intimidating-looking, athletes, I felt some fear coming up: was this really a good idea? Would I be able to do it? I hoped I was not going to injure myself for my upcoming ballet show, and rehearsals the next day (especially given that I had already taken a ballet class that morning). Moreover, the race was kind of late (starting at 8:45 pm), and I had never run that late before. But off we went, and what helped me was focusing on kindness for the other runners--really consciously going against the prevailing competitive atmosphere by letting them pass. As I payed more attention to the others, my own fears slowly dissipated. The others were going to be doing much better than I was, and that was fine, because I was just doing it for the experience.

As the race unfolded, I saw many supporters on the side of the road, including some friends. What a wonderful surprise! By feeling grateful for their support, for them taking the time to just stand beside the road and cheering the runners, I gained a lot of energy. Gratefulness is such a tremendous motor! By smiling at those "cheerleaders" I felt I could do a little back. And again, it made me focus less on my own body and my fears. Also just being present for the nature in the park that we were running through, and the art made the running so much lighter and enjoyable.

But nevertheless, as the race continued, my legs got more and more tired (being the speedy gonzalez I am, of course I ran much faster than was good for me...). So I needed another meditation technique. When my body started to protest, I focused on the tonglen practice, where you exchange your happiness for other's suffering (see my previous post for more about tonglen). As my body started to hurt, I thought of all those people who were suffering right now, languishing in prisons, being tortured, being gravely ill, and so on. As I breathed in, I imagined with my suffering, I would take their suffering and take it onto me, so they wouldn't have to go through it. And of course, this suffering I was going through was also quite insignificant compared to the suffering of many other people.

Then the last few kilometers, it was just mind over body. I almost felt dizzy and disoriented. As this happened, I had one more weapon left. I considered how all these phenomena were just fleeting, transient, and would pass. I made it to the finish, probably mostly due to having this phenomenal mental toolbox for dealing with difficult circumstances. Even though I am a pretty distracted practitioner and would not say my meditation is really worth anything, these tools really helped me a lot. Thanks to the power of kindness, as it says on one of my favorite t-shirts!