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Christian Meier

Will I dare to live up to my full potential?

The Journey The Journey

Recently I had some ideas and insights – partly based on personal experiences I can’t share in public – that I thought might be worthwhile to write a few lines about. I basically became more aware of how stubborn my behaviour and my thinking is, how much I hold on to procedures and static opinions or viewpoints. Which prevents me from living my potential. Which is the whole point about meditation, isn’t it?

At the end of the day, it’s not about following a certain path or tradition, doing a certain practice perfectly or being able to follow rules and methods. This is all stepping-stones, vehicles, more or less skilful means to “wake us up”. It is up to us to open to their inherent meaning and to use them in a way to change our mostly twisted, clumsy and stubborn mind. There is absolutely nothing and nobody outside of us that can be made “responsible” for what we attain or not.
 
Of course, we need concrete ways and means, that is not the point. Just to speak for myself, I am heavily and increasingly grateful to the fact that I am offered such a plenty of (meditation) methods and insights. But I realize how strong the habit is, to use potentially everything as an excuse to not uncover my full potential – including the wonderful methods I am given.
 
Maybe you are also familiar with those subtle “logic reasons” like “Oh, meditation practice is a really great thing, but I won’t be really successful because I just don’t have enough time”, “Too much sitting on the cushion will only make me fat and degenerate my joints, so I better don’t push it too far”, or, “All these Asian symbols are somehow always strange to me, so I can’t really make a connection…” and – one of my favourite ones – “Most of this stuff was originally made for these guys sitting in hermitages for months and years, it’s easy to transform your mind with this kind of circumstances, but now and here it’s impossible to find this single-minded focus…” And there are many more, of course. My mind is pretty inventive, when it comes to this.
 
This kind of attitude will probably lead to positive results – which is good – but always keep them to a nicely small to medium size. Some improvement, some insight, but far from a real shift. And the teachers can show us a lot, explain to us, try to guide us – but they can’t create the openness and willingness in us to change. At least not in a direct way. That’s why I’m so glad that something inside drives me towards the presence of my teachers and their way of being. So that there is at least a possibility that the resistance within me slowly melts and that maybe something opens up more and more to a world beyond all my narrow-minded limitations.

And, by the way, sitting on the cushion and following practice in accordance to some rules seems to help me a lot.